Saturday, 29 September 2012


Over the years, Nigerian men have been known to keep multiple sex partners but these days the reverse is the case as more and more young ladies now have more than 1 lover.

 This practice which is common in the western world is fast becoming part of our culture and investigation shows that the reason most Nigerian women keep more than 1 partner is because of money and sex.

 With the advent of social utility sites like facebook, twitter and of course blackberry, it has become easier for women to hook up with multiple guys.

 Many women will argue they keep multiple partners for several other reasons and this leads us to two categories of young women who keep multiple partners.

 First are the young ladies who are not ready for marriage and just want to explore the world. Most of the ladies in this category fall between the ages of 18-25years. They are either university undergraduates or fresh graduates who are not ready for commitment. Many of them date many guys for money because they need someone to pay their bills. Also is the reason to have more than one partner for sexual reasons.

 According to a 22-year-old lady she said “Well, I can speak for myself and a whole lot of ladies out there. It is true that we ladies now engage in the act of having more than one lover and the reasons depends on every individual. Don’t get it wrong it is not all young ladies, some ladies are faithful to their partners and not everybody does it for sex and money. Many young guys can’t even pay their own bills and how do you expect them to help you financially when you need them. So the best thing is to get a rich man and in most cases married men who can take care of you. The married men will surely know you have a boyfriend but the boyfriend must never know you are dating someone else. While the married rich guy takes care of the bill the young man is there to satisfy one’s sexual need. You know you can’t have the attention of the married man all the time and most of them who are older than the girls are not as sexually active as the young ones so one needs to balance the equation”.

 It is practically greed that makes some girls go as far as dating 2-3 or more guys because of material things they tend to get from them. Also there are just some girls that seem to have exposed the lifestyle of a lot of young girls. Most of them are undergraduates and because they want to wear good clothes and have a sense of belonging they just date as many as possible men.

 Sure you have heard of what “parole” or “ runs” is. These are two common words used for girls who are being pimped for guys that can afford to pay for their services. Depending on how they get connected they get paid between 10k-50k and the lucky ones who get connected to the politicians can smile home with at least 100k.

 Well some call it corporate prostitution, the fact remains that over 60% of young girls in Nigeria do it and it has become a normal way of life. Beyond the money, many girls also have multiple partners for sexual reasons. You know young girls are very adventurous and to experience sexual variety make some have multiple partners.

 One can have an active sexual partner but can get tempted to have sex with someone else and when that happens to be excellent in bed she starts making comparison which might lead to having illusion of having several other partners.

 Another reason is because some ladies just want to have multiple partners. Some ladies do it for adventure and even when they love someone, they just want to have another partner just to feel what other ladies feel.

 In most cases because there is no serious commitment, their excuse is basically since they don’t get enough attention from the guy, they don’t trust him enough or an act of youthful exuberance.

 The other category of young women who have multiple partners are those that are ready for commitment and are in search of a man to spend the rest of their lives with. Most of the women in this category are aged 25 and above.

 Money is hardly the reason they have more than one lover but it cannot be ruled out that greed sometimes make them date more than one man. For most of these ladies, the decision to have more than one partner does not begin with sexual reasons but emotional reasons. They just want to play safe in case one of the guys disappoints, they still have another person to fall back on for marriage since time is no longer on their side.

 According to the reason given by a young lady in her late 20’s “some women have been hurt several times in the past and they just have no reason to put all their eggs in one basket again based on their bitter experience.

 Also is the fact that many ladies don’t get enough attention from their partner and you know because they get chased by other guys they might end up been friends with another guy which might lead to an affair with him. If the affair becomes sexual and emotional she gets deep into it and that can go on on and on.

 Trust is another reason. When a woman doesn’t trust her partner she feels in secure in the relationship and when there is societal pressure on her to get married she tends to find an alternative and date someone else while she holds on to the guy until he proposes to her.

 If a lady is dating a guy she loves and somehow meet another single guy who is equally loving and caring but with more money she weighs her option. She gets tempted to date the rich guy and if lucky enough might end up marrying the rich guy. Otherwise enjoy the relationship while it lasts.

 Sex is primary in every relationship but most Nigerians guys after getting so familiar with their partner; they ignore her and don’t meet her at the point of emotion and sexual need anymore. When he stops doing things he used to do to express his love then he is creating a gap for the lady to engage herself sexually with someone else.

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