Thursday, 20 June 2013

LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS: SIGNS THAT YOU’RE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP


Domestic violence seems to be on the increase or maybe it’s just with the advent of social media networks that we hear about different sordid tales.
Domestic violence and abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of size, gender, or strength. Yet the problem is often overlooked, excused, or denied.
This is especially true when the abuse is psychological, rather than physical.
Emotional abuse is often minimized, yet it can leave deep and lasting scars.

Domestic abuse, also known as spousal abuse, occurs when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person. Domestic abuse that includes physical violence is called domestic violence.
Domestic violence and abuse are used for one purpose and one purpose only: to gain and maintain total control over you.
An abuser doesn’t “play fair”.
Abusers use fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and keep you under his or her thumb. Your abuser may also threaten you, hurt you, or hurt those around you.
                                   SIGNS THAT YOU’RE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP
Do you: feel afraid of your partner most of the time/
Avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
Feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?
Believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated? Wonder if you’re the one who is crazy? Feel emotionally numb or helpless?
Does your partner: have a bad and unpredictable temper?
Hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you? Threaten to take your children away or harm them? Threaten to commit suicide if you leave? Force you to have sex? Destroy your belongings?
                               SEXUAL ABUSE IS A FORM OF PHYSICAL ABUSE
Does your partner: humiliate or yell at you? Criticize you and put you down? Treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see? Ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments? Blame you for their own abusive behavior? See you as a property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
                                  YOUR PARTNER’S CONTROLLING BEHAVIOUR
Does your partner: act excessively jealous and possessive?
Control where you go or what you do? Keep you from seeing your friends or family? Limit your access to money, the phone, or the car? Constantly check up on you?
                                 PHYSICAL ABUSE AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
When people talk about domestic violence, they often referring to the physical abuse of a spouse or intimate partner.
Physical abuse is the use of physical force against someone in a way that injures or endangers that person. Physical assault or battering is a crime, whether it occurs inside or outside of the family.
The police have the power and authority to protect you from physical attack.
Any situation in which you are forced to participate in unwanted, unsafe, or degrading sexual activity is sexual abuse. Forced sex, even by a spouse or intimate partner with whom you also have consensual sex, is an act of aggression and violence.
Furthermore, people whose partners abuse them physically and sexually are at a higher risk of being seriously injured or killed.
                                                    EMOTIONAL ABUSE
It’s a bigger problem than you think.
When people think of domestic abuse, they often picture battered women who have physically assaulted. But not all abusive relationships involve violence. Just because you’re not battered and bruised doesn’t mean you’re not being abused. Many men and women suffer from emotional abuse, which is no less destructive.
Unfortunately, emotional abuse is often minimized or overlooked-even by the person being abused
                                               UNDERTSTANDING EMOTIONAL ABUSE
The aim of emotional abuse is to chip away at your feelings of self-worth and independence. If you’re the victim of emotional abuse, you may feel that there is no way out of the relationship or that without your abusive partner you have nothing.
Emotional abuse includes verbal abuse such as yelling, name-calling, blaming, and shaming. Isolation, intimidation, and controlling behavior also fall under emotional abuse. Additionally, abusers who use emotional or psychological abuse often throw in threats of physical violence or other repercussions if you don’t do what they want.
You may think that physical abuse is far worse than emotional abuse, since physical violence can send you to the hospital and leave you with scars. But, the scars of emotional abuse are very real, and they run deep.
In fact, emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse-sometimes even more so.
Violent and abusive behavior is the abuser’s choice.
Despite what many people believe, domestic violence and abuse is not due to the abuser’s loss of control over his or her behavior.
In fact, abusive behavior and violence is a deliberate choice made by the abuser in order to control you.

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